Well right now I feel as though I am in a rut, between who I am and who people expect me to be. I say that because when I went off to college some of my views on things changed and not in a bad way by any means. But in the way that I was finding things out for myself instead of just believing things that I had heard. Such things as why I believe the things I do concerning my faith. And I feel as though people expect me to be the same as I was before I went to school, and so now that I know that I am not, I feel like I can't be my true self. Kinda like im hiding under a mask or something. I hate that feeling, feeling like a hypocrite, the worst feeling. I guess I just feel like because ive changed a little that they won't except it or something. But my mom always tells me to be myself!!! A constant battle! But a battle that is needed to be fought and conquered! What it all comes down to is trusting God!! I say that because if I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong and that I am doing what I feel as though God wants me to do, then it doesn't matter what others think at all. And I do feel like I am doing what God is wanting me to be doing. So I need to trust in Him! I just have this need that I don't like it when people don't like me so I guess I am a people pleaser to an extent. Which isn't good either. So I am learning to trust God and know that through Him everything will be ok and that He has it all under control!!
"So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:6-7
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